Thursday, 13 October 2011

A Secret Fighting

Today; I am going to pull your attention towards a very sensitive topic. A secret struggle that takes place among those, who are habitual of it. It is a struggle against their own body, if a person will not fight against it, it will take complete hold on doer and make him/her slave of dirty and lustful desires. Mostly people even not realize what is it. It is a private behavior rarely shared or discussed in public. I have chosen to write about masturbation a topic which is commonly perceived as taboo because it is an unpleasant and unethical act. Masturbation is very evil indeed, it is impermissible (haraam) to masturbate.
It is very delicate topic need to be discussed under Islamic and ethical, healthy and positive point of view just for awareness and cure sake.
Image, Picture, heart, key,  masturbation  
image source; internet
You should know by doing this you are  displeasing to Allah(God). 

The main reason why am I writing this article? I got a mail from an unknown who was crying for help and want to know an Islamic and complete perspective on it,  he was feeling too ashamed to ask about anyone from his family and friends, as it is totally forbidden in Islam though other cultures and religions oppose the use of masturbation or even label it as sinful. This can lead to guilt or shame about the behavior.
I am trying to give him answers of his questions and also giving recommendations to cure this lustful sin after research like I always do before posting (about any vast and sensitive topic) as I am not much knowledgeable.

Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam.
Allah says in Quran:
And those who guard their private parts. But from their wives and from those whom their hands possess. They are not to be blamed for them. And who seeks others save those two then they are the transgressors.
Surah Al-Ma'arij : Ayat 29 to 31

Some hadith that are quoted :
1: A narration attributed to Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood reports:
We were with the Prophet Muhammad (peace Be Upon Him) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066.
2: A narration attributed to Abd-Allah ibn Mas'ud reports: Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'O group of youth! Whoever from among you can marry should do so because it keeps the gaze low and it protects the private parts. And he who cannot marry should make it compulsory upon himself to fast because it breaks lust.'
3: A narration attributed to Anas ibn Malik reports:
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'The person who performs Nikah with his hands (i.e. masturbates) is cursed.
3: A narration attributed to Sa'id ibn Jubayr reports:
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'Allah Taãla will inflict a punishment on a group of people because they played with their private parts.'

 Masturbation can be more addictive than heroin.
Many people are secretly fighting against with this lustful monster to defeat it. They feel very guilty and cheap about themselves being trapped by this dirty act. A act that is actually a sin against their own body. This sin also cheating against your partner or future partner.

In this phase you become more disturbed with multi thoughts going on your mind, at one point you feel a great shame and regret on other side you want it to do indeed Satan try to bring you closer the dirty act, giving the feeling of as it's not a big deal, it's normal no one is watching you, you are not giving harm to any. Indeed these all are lies.

masturbation, image, picture
image source; internet
In this way you disrespect your body.

Gradually you are going to become addicted and weaker. Your demands increases for more and more, you feel defeated loose your will power or power of resistance and feel hopeless and helpless. Indeed these thoughts are your weak faith, Allah is always there for you ask help from Him, if you are really want help against it.
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so. This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. It must be actually a decision. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. 

It's harms are great:
Islam does not prohibit a thing unless it has a great harm. 
It does not fit the dignity of a respectable man. The clearest evidence on its ugliness is that the doer feels disgust with himself after finishing this act.

I have come across countless articles and opinions stating how masturbation is "a healthy practice", the more I saw these false comments, the more I felt the need to correct this misconception!
Not all that doctors say is true. There are other doctors that say the opposite. What is important to us is what our Wise Creator Allah says. He is more aware of His creatures. Islam, which is the speech of Allah, is clear in its verdicts. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) has prohibited it.

Masturbation is an extremely unhealthy practice, considered unlawful and sinful in our tradition, which has many personal and societal ill-effects known and recognized by Muslims and many non-Muslims alike. It affects a person in the long-run, ruining one’s marriage, impairing one’s physical health, reducing one’s ability to be proactive in the daily chores, and harming one’s religious and spiritual growth by distancing one from one’s Lord.

The side effects:
Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time
Lower back pain
Thinning hair / Hair Loss
Soft / Weak Erection
Premature Ejaculation
Eye floaters or fuzzy vision
Groin / Testicular Pain
Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone
Bad memory, low concentration, nervousness, weak nerves, anxiety and feeling bad.
Body uses alot of energy to create semen.
Melancholy, loneliness, and complexes
Absent-mindedness and sense of inferiority among the people excessively fond of masturbation. 
Depression happen after each self indulgence. 
Masturbation habit leads to some neurological disorders. Too much irritation trembles on hand and arm, dizziness, sleeplessness, debilitation on backs and feet and tiredness are produced due to masturbation.

Masturbation is an unhealthy sexual behavior. Like other unpleasant and risky behaviors, when  addicted it can lead to both psychological and physiological imbalances. Large number of women and men have practiced masturbation—but when done, it causes drastic changes in brain and body chemistry. 

Remember, we don’t only have physical health to look after, we also have spiritual health which we need to tend to just as much!

Fear of Allah Almighty:
Whoever has been tested with this must repent to Allah and regret what he has done, and resolve not to do it again. Keep a positive mental attitude. 
It is beyond doubt that a man will take account of his every act. , if he thinks of that Allah is always watching him and is aware of everything that he does, no matter if they are apparent or hidden. If the idea is rooted in a person that The Almighty God is constantly watching him, Allah will call him to account because of his sins, going beyond the boundaries, He will punish him due to his disobedience then he will, without any doubt, shun all kinds of destroying acts, misbehaviors and perversities.


Allah described in Quran:
Then as for him who rebelled;
And preferred the life of this world,
Then undoubtedly, the hell his destination.
But as to him who feared to stand before his Lord, and restrained his soul from evil desires;
Then undoubtedly, the Paradise is his destination.  Surah An-Nazi'at : Ayat 37-41

masturbation, image, picture
image source; internet

Here are recommendations:
 1: The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allah's orders and fearing His punishment.
 2: A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet Muhammad's (Peace Be Upon Him) hadith.
 3: Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.
 4: Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet Muhammad's (Peace Be Upon Him) hadith (interpretations of the meanings):
"Order the Muslim men to lower down their sights a little (from looking at forbidden things) and to guard their private parts. This is cleaner for them, undoubtedly, Allah is Aware of their deeds.
And order the Muslim women to lower down their sights a little (from looking at forbidden things) and guard their chastity," Surah An-Nur : Ayat 30-31
 Allah's messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet  to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).

5: Using one's available leisure time in worshipping Allah and increasing religious knowledge.
6: Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.
7: Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.
8: Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
9: Avoid bad company, and endeavor to stay in the company of the pious and righteous, in the Mosque, and with learned Ulama as much as possible. 
10; If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, You must cut off them. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. 
11: When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes.
12: Strengthening one's willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.
13: Following the Prophet's aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible because fasting will temper one's sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one's promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one's oath to Allah. Also, note that medication to diminish one's sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one's sexual ability.
14: Trying to follow the Prophet's recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).
15: Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadith:
 "Whoever seeks chastity Allah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.
16: Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allah.
17: Finally, Allah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah's forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.
18: Eat more soybean products and eliminating excessive caffeine from your diet. Focus on nutty foods like sunflower seeds, and peanuts and eat more sea foods, seaweed, vegetables, and try to minimize red meat and dairy product intake. Instead of soda, try drinking orange juice or cranberry juice and, of course, drink plenty of water.

You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

Allah knows best.

23 comments:

  1. Everyone has to be "God fearing" through practising "TAQWA" in order to avoid all kind of haraam fascination attained directly or indirectly through watching pornography or any adult entertainment.

    Taqwa is lost as soos as one is indulged in any unnatural sexual act mentioned above in your article or in any other form; as is happening among gay/lesbian community.

    Shamelessly, the haraami teachers in schools or madaaris usually victimize their students.

    Satan usually attacks, when two persons are in a hidden place or are in non public room etc.
    The dirty act of unhealthy practice takes place usually among the loners.

    Yes Asma! You are right - one must start fasting to control this satanic misdeed.

    Qur'anically, you have a point to make but it is controversial otherwise.

    Carry on with your enlightening work imparting Allah's word among the humankind.

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  2. @Tariq Mian: Thanks for positive response as I was feeling scared to talk about this hideous issue... :)

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  3. this is the first I am reading a researched article on this topic...

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  4. Hah! another beautiful post by you.
    This topic is extremely sensitive & I am so glad to see how beautifully you have handled this .. congrats for that .. Moreover, I think such topics should be talked & discussed about as it could be helpful to remove any misconception or misrepresentation being developed among the people and specially in the teens .. As at homes, mostly parents don't discuss or it would be better if I say, "they avoid" talking about these kind of issues as some social behaviors or what ever the reason could be!
    at the end, there is just one thing i can say
    "Jazak ALLAH"

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  5. @quartertoinsane :)

    @Shayana: Thanks for engorgement.... :)
    Stay Blessed

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  6. Let me add a little:
    Marriage is not one hundred percent solution, because some people have more intense “sexual drive” than others, so they start their secret life in addition. That’s a damn fact. Trust me.
    That's why; men in Islam are allowed more than one wife - depending on financial capability and having enough moral courage to do justice to all wives on “equality basis.”
    Nevertheless, this condition is tough one and other tough situation is jealousy among wives.

    On the contrary, wife prefers leaving over living with her husband in case an additional wife comes on board.
    Under the circumstances, the best thing is stay with one wife - just follow the “golden rule of patience” through lifetime, however, that is only possible if Taqwa is practiced.

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  7. @Tariq Mian: Sir I didn't give marriage as only solution, but yes I have told many ways to stop this sin. The most importantly the fear of Allah and torment of hell.

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  9. You know how to write on sensetive topics. well done.

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  10. @ İzdiher: Thank You... :)
    Stay Blessed..

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  11. I wanted to say what a beautifuly writen post .And posted so fast .


    Anyway, welcome.

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  12. Asma you are doing an awesome Job.

    How beautifully you wrote all this.

    Absolute time of the need is to cure this disease which is ruining the youth seriously.

    I missed reading your blog. It really gives you the will power to fight against all odds and sins and revive your concepts that YOU ARE A MUSLIM DONT FORGET IT !

    I will share this topic among many !

    GREAT WORK !

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  13. @Imad Khalid: And i really missed your comments... :)
    Keep visiting here... :)
    Thank You...
    Stay Blessed

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  14. thanks asma for discussing such and important taboo in our society... and thanks i didnt know a few of the harms that you mentioned... a bold topic beautifully written :) bravo...

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  15. Aslam o Alikum Asma,its really great honor for me to visit your blog,your and mine ideas are little bit same and i usually expreesed them in poetry,good one.hope you will visit mine blog too.

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  16. @Muhammad Israr: Thanks for encouragement... :)

    @Sunny: Waleikum Assalam....
    Ahan! Nice to know about you. :) Will catch you at your blog... :)

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  17. Hi - I am really delighted to discover this. Good job!

    Take care
    Marinela

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  18. @Short Poems: Hi!
    Thanks... :)
    Stay Blessed

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  19. Thanks for this well researched post on a sensitive issue. I think non-muslims or muslims who want to know about this topic will have an informative post here.

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  20. @About Aisha: Welcome Dear... :)

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  21. Muslims Following the trends of Non-Muslims is indeed a sign of the Day Of Judgment.

    Many Muslims Believe on Western People's research more than The Holy Quran. They think that those false sites telling them that it is a "very health act" are right to just kill their shame. Just an Act of Satan - For that is all the illusions of Satan.

    Doing One Sin leads to a thousand Sins. Why not kill the first sin at its budding. Why not Sacrifice yourself in front of The Almighty.

    ...if this is not too much off topic. I would like to say that Most of the imam's in Mosques are Misinformed themselves. I've seen Many of them and most of them are Illiterate and they are considered very knowledgeable'cos they have Memorized The Holy Quran and they've read a few books.

    But they are not the kind of people which you can discuss Matter of faith with. You say a wrong thing and they'll nearly cut your head there. Not literally but they'll humiliate you like you're nothing. I at one point started hating all of em.

    But then I thought "No Human is alike in this world and I can't judge everyone on the doing of a few".

    But it really bugs me that those people who present themselves as a knowledgeable person is so ...dumb.

    I agree you for most of it - Well I think all of it. And you've written a very Great Article.

    May Allah The Almighty Bless Give The the Strength to Keep Our Faith Intact.

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  22. @Daniyal Arain: Hmmm rightly said... :)

    Yeah there are many misconceptions, those are needed to be clear in the light of Islam. That is why I dare to post about this shameful plus disgusting topic. It is totally satanic deed and a sin which displeases Allah.

    You are welcomed to share your views... :)
    To some extent you are right. I think you will agree with me, as Islam gives us order to acquire knowledge. so it is our duty to get Islamic education and help in every deed because Islam is a complete code of life. Blaming others will certainly not solve the problems.

    True, only Allah has the authority to judge.

    Thanks for appreciation... :)

    Insha Allah & Ameen...

    Stay Blessed

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